There's all the usual sorts of awards you'd expect at a ceremony such as this, as well as a few others as I try to make a vain attempt at some humour. So, without further ado, let's get underway.
Player of the Year: Darren McGregor. Stepped up to SPL and full-time football for the first time, but you wouldn't have known it. Took to the top flight like a duck to water. Solid in defence with a commanding presence and not afraid of getting forward. Still a bit raw, but a real star of the future.
Young Player of the Year: Kenny McLean. Came from nowhere to be a key part of the first team. Great vision and passing, can occasionally shoot - thank goodness we've got him on a long term contract.
Most Improved Player of the Year: Michael Higdon. The fact his contract was expiring may have had something to do with his late season form, but he managed three times the number of goals he got last season and he even bagged a hat-trick.
Goal of the Season: Darren McGregor v Rangers. Terrific team move, finished off when Aaron Mooy crossed for Darren McGregor to produce a sumptuous volley. Special mention to Michael Higdon's hat-trick goal against Hamilton.
Individual Performance of the Season: Michael Higdon v Hamilton. OK, so he just finished off the chances, but it was a terrific hat-trick that went a long way to securing safety.
Signing of the Season: Jure Travner. Well, McGregor has already had an award! A slow start, but quickly became a fans' favourite with his bombing runs forward, superb crossing and willingness to take a man on. If only he could defend...
Worst Signing of the Season: Jamie McCluskey. Signed, then not played, then eventually sent to Clyde after his TV nasty.
Highlight of the Season: Beating Aberdeen to stay up. Survival finally secured - and also the end of a horrific game of football. Higdon's hat-trick was also a highlight.
Lowlight of the Season: Losing to Inverness Caley Thistle. Losing to Hamilton was bad, but the defeat to ICT made relegation suddenly look frighteningly possible. The cup defeat to Aberdeen was also a sore one.
Best Decision of the Season: Releasing Steven Robb. Given one last chance and failed to take it.
Worst Decision of the Season: Giving Steven Robb and Garry Brady new contracts. Not much good the season before and they wasted their chance after being given a final shot.
Surprise of the Season: Gareth Wardlaw. Much keyboard bashing greeted the 31-year-old former postie's arrival - some of it from myself. However, while not good enough for the SPL he put in a power of work and was nowhere near as bad as expected - plus he got the goal that kept us up.
Paul McKnight Memorial Trophy for Services to the NHS: Nick Hegarty. Broke his ankle on his third appearance and never seen again.
Services to Comedy Award: Celtic. Yes, what happened to Neil Lennon this season was horrific, but his constant whining about referees and the increasing levels of paranoia from Celtic were most amusing.
Forgotten Man Award: Aaron Mooy. Signed, gets a few games, then disappears - occasionally seen in the last few minutes of games before finally getting a bit of a go towards the end of the season.
Golden umbrella for game that proves why summer football won't work: Dalbeattie Star v Threave Rovers. A personal grievance this one, but when you go to a game in May you should not need to change everything you're wearing when you get home because you're drenched!
Imogen Thomas award for best Big Brother audition: Jamie McCluskey. Celebrating a Celtic goal in the Saints dressing room when there is a camera there is bad enough, but to lie about it afterwards? Not on.
Best Performance by a Former Saint: Charlie Adam. Retains the award for almost keeping Blackpool in the top flight. Special mention to Paul Lambert for back-to-back promotions.
Three's a crowd goblet: Danny Lennon. Because Danny Lennon likes talking about Danny Lennon in the third person.
Chant of the season: "Are you watching Billy Reid?" as we put together a fine passing move and goal against Aberdeen. Despite apparently playing the sort of football that would have Barcelona fans drooling, Hamilton somehow finished bottom of the league. Their time wasting, finger pointing and referee surrounding players will not be missed.
Follow Mirren Mad on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mirren-Mad/177833938918587
Follow Mirren Mad on Twitter @mirren_mad or http://www.twitter.com/mirren_mad